Monday, 13 March 2017

How to Cure a Deficit Relationship

All hail Alphasoars,
How has the soaring been? I can visualize steady progress on every direction. We have a simple survey on the blog. It you are viewing this blog with a mobile device you will probably not see it, except you switch to Web View. It is on the top left side of the page. It is just a simple 'click to reply' survey. Thanks for having your views.

I describe a deficit relationship as one that has lost the touch of passion or completeness that has previously been visible. It is a relationship that has lost the act of 100% reciprocity. One in which one or both parties feel shortchanged and wish to break up or discontinue with the relationship.

From the foregoing a deficit relationship could possibly be termed one which is far from been called a normal relationship. And there are many things that can lead to abnormalities in a relationship. I will list a few below.

1. Seeing less of what you expect. John bought a beef sausage roll. He took it home having known that in a beef sausage roll, he will find beef enclosed in baked flour. He unwraps what he bought for a quick bite and on taking the first bite, he watered it down with a soft drink. On having the second bite, he realised that he has been short changed by the company that made the suasage roll in that he could no longer find beef enclosed in the baked flour.
By careful examination he found out that the company only added beef to both ends of the sausage roll and nothing was inside.

Hehe, I've succeeded in making someone salivate already, lols.

Like the sausage roll, some individuals apply what we could call 'packaging' in their outward appearance thereby deceiving the next person. And when they have gone through a short while together the other begins to notice that what was presented to her/him was false and not really the person behind the presentation, he tends to withdraw from the relationship.

2. Seeing all before due time. Some relationships end when what was expected to be kept secret till the relationship is sealed is exposed for 'some fun'. Mostly sexually. Either partner might be eyeing the lower part of you and when it is a done deal, there is a break up.

3. Seeing extra outside. Sometimes we want more. And someone rightly said, human wants are insatiable. We never get enough.

4. Seeing yourself in another class. You met the other one when you are earning 80k and then your earning increases to 800k then you feel, 'he/she is below my class now'. You try to break someone's heart at that point.

5. Selling yourself for a lower price. You must not be made to bow to her because she brings the money. You must not come from your house to cook or do laundry because you want to keep him.
Doing some of these things results to lack of respect for each other. When someone feels he is disrespected, he will move on without the other. Every human has an ego that stands tall within.

There are many others but I want us to discuss some of the cure to a deficit relationship. I will line them up briefly.

1. Realize and Confront any abnormalities quickly. Don't wait for a long time when you have noticed some changes in your partner. It might be a simple issue that could be trashed out with a sentence but when you wait longer, you might have to write a whole book to resolve it.

2. Be matured in communication. Communication or dialogue saves a lot of things from getting worse whether marriage, relationship or company setting. But this should be done maturely. If the other partner willingly comes to round table, you don't start with abuses or constantly reminding him/her of all the bad things done to you.
Go straight to outline the problems as it has affected the relationship and put heads together and map out a clear solutions to all.

3. Don't invite a third party when you don't even know where the problem is coming from.

4. Don't rush into conclusions. Do not start saying stuffs like, "It's because you have money now", "Just because your parents came", "she/he is giving you something I cannot give?". These might not be the problem but you are just supposing and supposing kills.

5. Give yourselves reasonable time to think through on the way forward. Don't rush somebody like, "tell me now, if you are continuing with this relationship or not". It might lead each of the partners to rush into regrettable conclusion.


Happy soaring!!!

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